Discovery
by Silent Deathbringer
Summary: Lussuria gets bored one day and dicovers something about his boss's name.


So yeah, had this on my computer for a while and thought, "Why don't I finish it," and after a couple weeks of procrastination it's done. Remember, procrastination is a good thing because it has the word pro in it. Enjoy

x.X.x

Xanxus was not a man to make fun of. He was a man who demanded nothing but respect, which anyone in their right mind would give him. Those who did not treat Xanxus with respect would receive a merciless death.

Some would call him an asshole, most others would say nothing for fear of death. But those with the guts or stupidity to call Xanxus an asshole were not far from the truth.

x.X.x

Somewhere within the Varia Base was a man wearing sunglasses. His hair was brown and shaved on one portion of his head, the rest was long and green and red in a sort of Mohawk. This man looked incredibly bored as he sat hunched over a table, one hand holding a piece of paper, the other a pen. A name was written all over the paper in small, curvy writing. The name of his beloved boss, Xanxus. It was Lussuria, the Varia sun.

His lips were pursed as looked at the name, he tilted his head this way and that, trying to figure something out. He continued examining the name for a few more seconds when something clicked in his brain. He began scribbling out letters, well really it was only one, both the X's. This left with a gabbing mouth and a word. Lussuria composed himself shortly, folded the paper in half, grabbed the pen, and went off to search for his favorite shark.

x.X.x

Squalo was not patient by any means, tick him in the slightest and he'll scream 'VOOOIIII' at you, followed by a waterfall of curses because a stream cannot destroy like a waterfall can. He was currently lying on his bed, trying to recover from another attack delivered by his grouchy boss.

His hair was still wet from washing out the wine, _'Why do I even keep my hair this way," _he thought angrily, _"Stupid boss just fucks it up, I should chop it all off just to piss him off!" _Squalo was so caught up in his own thoughts he didn't notice Lussuria in the room until he squealed his name into his ear.

"VVVVOOOOIIIIII!" he jumped out of his bed, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT!" He was breathing heavily and clutching his chest.

"Oh nothing, I just thought you'd like to know al little secret, but if you're not interested I'm sure Bel would like to hear it," he turned his back and took a step forward.

"What kinda secret?" Squalo asked in a much quieter voice than usual. Lussuria twirled around and showed him the paper he's been writing on earlier. The silver haired assassin took moment to assess the word written, "Has boss been having anal sex? Well that would explain why we never see him with a woman. Always knew he was gay." Lussuria stared at him for several seconds, Squalo stared back.

Lussuria uncapped his pen, rewrote Xanxus on the paper and showed it to Squalo who still looked puzzled. He then put a finger over each X, Lussuria continued this for about a minute before Squalo realized what was going on. "No wonder he's such an ass, he's got it in his name."

"Boss is just under a lot of stress, we just need to get him to relax, perhaps we could tell him a joke or make him a nice dinner and buy him some wine."

"Why would we do that, so that the wine ends up IN MY HAIR! Why don't we take him that paper, maybe then he'll stop acting like a complete douche."

"No, Squalo, that will just him sad, which will lead to more stress." Lussuria planned to say more about making Xanxus happy but stopped when he noticed Squalo was no longer in the room, nor was his paper in his hand. He turned to see Squalo running down the long hallway and toward some stairs that lead to the next floor, the same floor that Xanxus' room was located on.

Lussuria took off after him but Squalo always remained ahead of him, he chased him all the way to Xanxus' door where Levi was standing guard, "Stop! Boss doesn't want to see anyone, so go away, _"Maybe boss will praise me if I do a good job,"_ Levi look up, his eyes glazed over and he began thinking of the praise he hoped to receive. But Squalo, being the dream crusher that he is, grabbed Levi by the throat and threw him to the ground. He then pushed the door open to find Xanxus leaning against his throne like chair, legs propped up on his desk, and a glass of wine in his hand.

Xanxus shot a glare at Squalo, not that you could tell because he glared most of the time, "What, Trash, come for another head full of wine?"

"NO! I just came to show you something, it's quite funny actually." Squalo walked toward Xanxus, eyes darting between the man's face and glass in his hand. The silver haired man brought the paper up to Xanxus' eye level, not even a second had gone by when Xanxus' lips formed a smirk.

"So you've learned to spell, good for you. Now get the hell out of my office," Squalo wanted to yell, what else is new, but he controlled himself, surprise, because he didn't want anything to ruin his mood. He did the same thing Lussuria did when he couldn't figure out what was going on. Xanxus only took a few seconds to figure it out, and he did something very un-Xanxus like. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water, and judging by his smirk, Squalo was enjoying the sight.

"TRASSSHHHH," his enjoyment was short lived, for Xanxus grabbed him by his hair, which we all know is inescapable, and dragged him out of his room, down the stairs, to the front door, and threw him outside, did I mention it was raining and that thunder lighting were booming flashing.

"VOOOIIIII, let me in," Squalo banged at the door for a good five minutes but no one answered.

x.X.x

The next day Squalo still sat in front of the door, shivering and occasionally sneezing. He tensed a little when the door opened but relaxed when Fran poked out his head. He opened the door all the way to reveal a blanket, he motioned for Squalo to come inside. Fran handed the blanket to the shivering man who gratefully wrapped it around himself. The illusionist led Squalo to his room where a bowl of soup and a change of clothes were waiting.

"Boss is still angry, so watch out," Fran walked out of the room to see Xanxus leaning against one of the walls, arms crossed. "Go easy on him, Boss," Xanxus just smirked and walked into the room, closing the door behind him.

"VOOOIII."

x.X.x

SDB: *claps*

Squalo: "VOOOIIII"

SDB: *Runs to Xanxus*

Squalo: "GET BACK HERE!"

SDB: *Climbs on Xanxus and points at Squalo*

Squalo: VOOII- *headshot*

Random Voice: One hit K.O

Xanxus: …

SDB: Hugs Xanxus

Xanxus: *sigh*


End file.
